


consternation

by Breanna_Song



Series: maladjusted [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Confessions, Hal is human, M/M, Roxy and Dave are mentioned, Sibling Incest, alpha dave's name is d, d isn't shown in this story but he's mentioned a lot, dave and alpha dave aren't the same person, dirk is wicked smart, dirk's sad, hal and dirk are twins, non consensual touching? it's like weird petting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 11:31:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15118487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breanna_Song/pseuds/Breanna_Song
Summary: he sleeps in fits, and it's not a surprise when he wakes up from another dreamless period, and sometimes he wonders why he even tries





	consternation

he breathes in slowly, blinking at the yellow, glow-in-the-dark space stickers he stuck up on his ceiling when he was twelve. when he was twelve, he was in high school and he was a foot shorter than everyone, he wore button ups and tied shoelaces and always bragged about his father because that’s how anyone looked at him. now, he’s in college with only six inches to his tween height, with graphic t-shirts and worn down shoes and always keeping his mouth shut about who his father is because he’s tired of everyone looking at him.

tears pile up, he feels the flood trying to overcome him and he turns his head, pressing his eyes into his pillow as he takes deep breaths. his chest rattles with every inhale, a tin box that’s taken too many blind beatings to protect his shitty broken heart, his ribs hurt. he reaches out blindly, his fingers brushing against the uneven fur, and pulls blackeyes to him, crushing the cheap arcade bear next to his ribs. roxy gave him the bear, her wide smile shining when she forced it into his hands; they were seven then, and the bear was an ugly horrid green color with mashes of pink and purple, but it was the kindest thing anyone's done for him, so he cherished it. still does. ten minutes later, he wipes his eyes and twists, glancing to the ajar door to check it, to make sure it's creaked open because he panics when it’s not. he closes his eyes, hoping to fall back asleep because even though he's the one who’s supposed to have the sleep issues, he wants to be awake enough for d's award show. 

then the door pushes open. 

the sound is barely there, nestled deep next to the whir of his fan, and he doesn’t notice until the weight dips on his bed; his heart hammers, yet he stays still. makes no deliberate movement to show that he’s awake. he feels cold fingers brush his bangs out of his face, caress his cheek, “i love you so much.” in that instant, he knows it’s hal. the weight is too light to be d, the boldness to confident to be his younger brother, and the person he fears it was wouldn’t ever say the word love. “you’re everything to me. i want you to be happy so badly, because you deserve it. you’re so good, and i know i give you shit all the time, but..”

another hand covers his, takes his from around blackeyes back, holds it carefully and gingerly, outlines every line on it. a deep inhale can be heard. “you’re fantastic. and amazing. and you look so fucking gorgeous all the time. i want to take you and kiss you all over, kiss your cheeks and your nose and your lips. your neck. your chest and collarbone.” the other hand moves from his cheek to his neck, burning cold fingertips dipping under his sleep shirt, but pulling back before going past an inch. "sometimes i don't feel human, but you're always there to ground me, to show that i actually matter."

he thinks he feels a teardrop on his hand. “i love you. i would die for you. i would do anything you want me to. you mean so much to me, i don’t know who i would be without you. please, don’t leave me. don’t go.” he feels breath on his cheek, lips barely brushing on his earlobe. “i want to kiss you so bad, but not like this. i can wait. i’ll wait for however long you want me to.” the exhales are suddenly gone, the weight on the bed lifted, and his hand is strategically placed where it was taken from. he hears the door move this time, the slight creak as it pulls to the exact degree it was before. when he’s sure that there’s no one around, he presses his eyes into his pillow again.

he cries harder.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for my bf and i changed it up some so i could post it;  
> don't do what hal does, dudes, it's weirdly messed up  
> (does it seem like this is the first time it's happened or just the first time dirk's been awake for it?)


End file.
